11 Things I’m Doing This Week While Looking For A Boyfriend

This week I’m stepping it up a notch in the dating department. I’m on week three of my last haircut, which makes my hair in that optimal state where it’s long enough to be ga-ga-ga-gorgeous and short enough for me to be cute. Depending on my book sales, I may not be able to get a haircut for a while. This is my optimal boyfriend-getting time. Of course, I’m also busy with my blog and my writing. I need a list.

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Runner

I spill the popcorn after complaining about Berry spilling it last time, which is what I get, he says. I spend too long outside in the hall talking to a man in joggers with a ring on his right ring finger. When I get back with a new tub, I try my best to catch up without Berry’s help. When the movie’s over, I say it was alright. Berry says it was worse than the last one. We get dinner at an all-night cafe on Bardstown Road. Berry asks which beers they have on tap. I ask which hand is the hand you’re supposed to wear a wedding ring on. Berry looks at me with his eyes wide open, his oval mouth at a diagonal, then back at the menu. The waitress smiles and shrugs as she turns away with empty glasses on a stack of brown trays. He tells me she was single, dude. I say I’m not asking about her. Berry looks around the cafe and asks me about different women. By the time we leave the hookah lounge upstairs, he’s under the impression that I like husky girls who punch in place wearing headbands. I run with it for the next ten years.

If you like this short fiction, please consider buying me a $3 coffee.

My First Novel About Ninjas

Last year sometime, just before I graduated college, I started writing a novel. A novel about ninjas. I focused more on character. The ninja part was just sort of a way to keep me writing when I got stuck; I don’t really know a lot about ninjas. Well, the thing is, I sort of finished it. Well, a version of it. I put it away for a while, then when it came time to edit, I sort of lost interest in the characters and its world. Basically, it sucked.
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